Updated: Jan 16, 2020
When working with people with PTSD or CPTSD, there are so many factors to consider. I've been fortunate enough to work with a handful of people diagnosed with this condition, and in each case, an effective method was used at the time. In no way am I saying that they were cured, but the best steps were taken that these individuals could be accelerated down the path of deep healing -- a path that will last an entire lifetime. For example, Jennifer Buianowski and I were able to relieve some of her CPTSD symptoms by using multiple activations during a session (See the testimonial on my Sessions page.)
For those unaware, Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is another level of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD is generally related to a single event, while Complex PTSD is based on a series of consistent events. For most, recovery from this is an extremely long road.
As I work with people on a day-to-day basis, I receive new approaches from my guides, improvements to my techniques thanks to the experience of working with many people and seeing results, and from discussions with amazing people that I meet on my journey.
Recently I had an opportunity to dive deep into Acceptance vs. Unconditional Love with one of these new friends. While unconditional love is a bit easier to understand, acceptance can have many definitions -- even outside of the definition of spiritual acceptance. As part of our discussion in this blog post, I opened up a web browser and typed in "acceptance."
Here are a few results from dictionary.com: “The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.” This doesn’t apply as well because we’re talking about accepting a past event that caused PTSD. This would be one that the victim certainly did not grant consent to!
So how about, “agreement with or belief in an idea, opinion, or explanation?” It's a start. Acceptance can be as simple as saying, “Yes, I agree this happened.” But the acceptance that I'm talking about is still much deeper than that. How about, “Willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation.” This is better. So to combine the two, it’s “agreeing that the event happened, and the ability to tolerate that it did.”
When you’ve been abhorrently abused multiple times, being able to say that you tolerate it is huge progress that should be celebrated and appreciated!
Spiritual acceptance, on the other hand, is about letting life unfold exactly as it comes. It is about being open and receptive rather than resisting what has happened, what comes next, and what is happening in the present moment. This acceptance has an element of, "I'm not in control, and I don't need to be. This is greater than me -- how can I possibly make a judgment over what is right for me? I accept that 3D reasoning cannot know this. I accept that these events were an important part of my story, and I accept them as-is."
And still, while this type of acceptance is a huge step toward healing -- compared to Unconditional Love -- acceptance is a single drop in the bucket.
Nonetheless, this discussion with my marvelous friend helped me articulate something that I hadn't put into words yet. I often profess Unconditional Love for all, because that is our ultimate goal. Unconditional Love is one of the highest emotional frequencies we can achieve, and it is the path to enlightenment and the next dimension. But we must be patient and allow each individual to get there at their own pace. We must accept that this likely won't happen overnight, and while we know the end goal, we must take it one important step at a time.
The mental health benefits from a spiritual approach to life and life's problems are incredible, but there's at least one element that can have the reverse effect. Positive thinking is critical in almost every area of life, but sometimes it can bring along expectations that are counterproductive. When we chide people for limited thinking, we might just be setting them up for failure.
Here's an example. Above I stated, "We must accept that this likely won't happen overnight." This statement itself is a limiting belief. However, if we expect that it will happen overnight, we might disappoint ourselves when the results don't actually happen that fast! We might question ourselves, "It didn't work! Am I doing it wrong? Maybe I screwed it up. Maybe I'm not meant to get over this!" and a downward spiral of self-blame and despair can interfere with our best of intentions.
It's a delicate balance, and while we must reduce limiting beliefs as much as possible, we must also guard against expectations and trust in the process. We must celebrate all of the victories and go into it with an open mind -- an acceptance -- if you will.
As I continue to build out my list of steps to heal from something as damaging and painful as PTSD, the concept of forgiveness must not be forgotten (see discussions about Forgiveness in past blog entries) I believe forgiveness is another important step on the journey of deep healing from CPTSD.
Acceptance of the event(s)
The ability to forgive the abuser or attacker in your heart (which doesn’t mean the abuser has to be confronted)
The ability to love your abuser (from a distance) and the situation(s) unconditionally. Knowing that the abuse was exactly what you needed in this life to be the person you are today. The unbelievably strong, incredible being that you became is a direct result of this nearly fatal experience.
In 2016 I got to witness someone with PTSD take MDMA to overcome her mental anguish. (We’ll call her Mary.) It went something like this…
Prior to her taking MDMA, she suffered deeply with multiple triggers, both mental and physical, and her disdain for her attacker had extended to men in general.
MDMA, if you are unfamiliar, is a failed pharmaceutical. "Failed" because it was so effective, you only needed 1-3 doses as opposed to a daily prescription to solve a handful of mental conditions. (And where's the money in that?) Instead, it became a street drug called Ecstasy. While under the influence, your brain is flushed with Serotonin and the effects are a powerful feeling of empathy toward absolutely everyone, among other positive feelings.
When Mary was at the height of her MDMA experience, she was able to finally tell the story of her PTSD incident without being triggered. And when asked what she thought of her attacker, she said movingly, “I love him.”
“Because he was suffering, and he thought he would make himself feel better by attacking me.”
That was all that needed to be said. Mary’s triggers were wiped out and her recovery was greatly accelerated.
So it doesn’t have to be a session from me, a lifetime of self-work, or a helpful substance. Any or all approaches might be exactly what someone needs to make great progress! Each individual should pursue what resonates with them. I encourage this because we want them -- we need them -- to join us on our train to the 5th Dimension. Because recovering from that type of trauma puts them in an incredible position to help the next wave of people who are trying to get on that same train.
Thank you for reading. I love to share my discoveries with you.