Updated: Dec 30, 2019
When my awakening began in 2013, I started a journey that would culminate in a complete metamorphosis. Not just an emotional and spiritual transformation, but a situational one as well. At the time, I was working full time in the video game industry as a producer. I had a wonderful romantic partner of 10 years, a big mid-century modern house, two whippets, and no kids. I was sorta happy, but not really. There were chinks in the armor. I was often worried about money, our careers, house payments, and our real estate investments.
I found myself fantasizing about escaping it all. I could envision just getting up and leaving it all behind. Getting on the road and driving somewhere I'd never been. Disappearing completely and starting a brand new life. That's about the time my awakening began.
It was a true synchronistic timeline shift. I came to realize that financial concerns were unnecessary when you faithfully believe that you are provided for and that you can handle anything as it comes. A cascade of supernatural events started pushing me in a new direction and the natural dissolution of my partnership with Jessa happened at the same time. The real estate market had come back enough that I could envision selling that mid-century modern house. Jessa received a promotion and moved from Chicago to New Orleans. Everything was falling into place!
Still, I didn't know what my new career would be. I hadn't begun to realize what my spiritual gifts were... let alone that I could use them to support myself! At the same time, I had the opportunity to work on a video game that was my dream project. After 20 years, I could finally work on the game that I had envisioned since I was a child. I couldn't leave! Even though video games no longer thrilled me, this particular game was exactly what I needed to keep it going for a just a bit longer.
So I stayed. After selling our mid-century modern monstrosity, I purchased a very small house on the Fox River in the Chicago suburbs. I called it the River Shack because it was decrepit and dilapidated. Insulation dangling out of the ceiling. Bathroom tiles shattered. Kitchen flooring loose and crumbling. I had purchased this place thinking that I could fix it up a bit and re-sell it in a year or two. I even created a spreadsheet that showed how much money I needed to put into it versus how much I thought I'd be able to sell it for. I was using a very 3D approach to making this decision -- but fortunately it wasn't the only approach. I love water, and I loved the idea of observing nature every single day. This is what mattered! I was following my excitement. My passion. That was the right move. That's why it worked.
I would say it took about two days of living in the River Shack before I realized that I loved it exactly as it was! I loved the insulation. The cracked tiles. The crumbling floor. The dilapidation was perfect! I didn't feel compelled to do anything at all. And to my surprise, when people came over to visit the River Shack, they loved it -- exactly as it was. So I did nothing and treasured every minute of it.
Over the next two years of living in the River Shack, I began a Lightworker training program to help me discover, enhance, and practice my gifts. I was able to lend monetary assistance to a new friend who had a home remodeling business. I hatched a plan to sell the river shack, quit my job, buy a camper van, sell more of our rental properties, shut down my business activities in the Chicago area, change my name, and start a whole new life!
So why would I want to buy a camper van and sell my house?
I've always been attracted to the idea of living on the road. When vacationing with my family, we would exclusively road trip. From our home in northeastern Ohio, we would drive to Florida, the upper peninsula of Michigan, Virginia Beach, even to Yellowstone National Park.
While I enjoyed road tripping with my parents, I didn't fall in love with it until I was the one doing the driving. There's something about the feeling of cruising for hours on end, seeing the landscape slowly change as you get further and further away from home. I also sought the freedom of living (well, sleeping) wherever I wanted to. I had never felt a particular tie to any one location. For half of my life, I lived in Ohio. For the other half; Chicago. Neither place has felt like my true home. So a nomadic life had appealed to me for some time.
I knew what I wanted, so I used a vision board method to attract the camper van. I even knew the specs. A newer (like 2017) RAM Promaster 2500 with about 50,000 miles on it. I wanted to build it out myself with a bed, kitchen, solar panels, and sitting area with a table to do my computer work. So I posted a picture of this type of van on my wall at home. I didn't dreamily gaze at it every day, wishing and hoping for it to materialize. Quite the contrary. I noticed it only on occasion -- mostly when guests would comment on it. I had truly set my intention and largely forgotten about it. I was confident it was going to happen. There was no need to obsess.
So what was I going to do about work? I had been working for High Voltage Software for almost 22 years by mid-2018, and that dream project I was working on was cancelled after almost two years of development. If I played my cards right, maybe I could get laid off and gain the benefits of unemployment. I felt like I needed that to cover the mortgage of the river shack until I could sell it the following spring. So I set that intention as well. I made a full manifestation request to be laid off.
It worked. I was laid off on August 31, 2018 -- on my birthday! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present. They even graciously gave me a severance package. I hadn't even considered that! Such a gift.
At the end of 2018 an even smaller house than the river shack sold for an astronomically high price just a few doors down. Sure, it was decked out with marble countertops and all the modern amenities, but it was a great sign! Perhaps this was all going to work out. With the proceeds of the sale of the River Shack, I could probably purchase the camper van outright with no car payments!
By the spring of 2019, many of my plans were falling into place. I had sold a few of our rental properties and the River Shack was on the market. My friend who owned the home remodeling business was able to pay me back with a few key improvements to the River Shack. We were able to finish the ceilings (no more dangling insulation) before it went on the market. The kitchen and bathroom were unchanged, however.
The River Shack went under contract for 50% more than my initial purchase price from just two years prior. Amazing! The plan was truly coming together!
This is when things got a little hectic.
The day after it went under contract, my ex-partner's brother, Gabriel, reached out to me because someone he knew was selling an already built-out camper van. Get a load of this: A 2017 RAM Promaster 2500 with 55,000 miles on it. It already had the solar panel, batteries, full electrical system, double bed, seating area, kitchen with fridge, two-burner stove top, sink, furnace, ceiling fan and passenger-side swivel chair. And she was selling it for only $12,000 over what it would cost to purchase empty. An incredible deal.
There were multiple buyers already interested. I was second in line after one who had committed to purchasing it, but he couldn't get the money together. When it fell through for him, it was on me.
Here's the problem: I didn't have the money to buy it, either. The River Shack was scheduled to close in four weeks, and the van seller couldn't wait that long. I had to come up with the money, and fast! I reached out to banks. No deal. They couldn't move quickly enough, and they found reasons they couldn't do it anyway. I started reaching out to family and friends that might be willing to loan me the full amount. No takers.
I was about to give up when I thought of Gabriel. He was the one who told me about it in the first place, maybe he could swing it! He was very supportive and said he had about half the money I needed, and gave me the idea to get the rest from others. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that! So I reached out to the same people and some new folks to try to acquire a smaller percentage. Again I was met with resistance. Until I asked my ex, Jessa! She was happy to loan me the rest of the money, so I was able to purchase the van with the help of my ex and her family.
See? It pays to not burn bridges. We were always like family and still are. <3
The van was in Minnesota, so I had to purchase it sight-unseen. I was sending the seller wire transfers every time I received money from Gabe or Jessa to reserve it. When the day finally came, I drove my old vehicle there, sold it to a local dealership, purchased the van, and drove it back from Minnesota.
Whew! Manifestation isn't always smooth sailing, but if you have the faith that it will work out, and are committed to finding solutions when all seems lost, you'll be surprised at how often it DOES work out!
By this time I'd moved in with some friends in the Chicago area, and I needed to put the final touches on tying up my loose ends. It still took time to get everything done. I also added a new sound system to the van with the help of my new roommate, Chris. I also added more paneling to cover up the van metal interior that the previous owner hadn't done, painted murals on the inside with my amazing friend Saraid, and got myself ready for my grand adventure.
Four months later, my expedition has finally begun! Myself, my dog Whisper, and my van, Samsāra, are finally on the road, spreading light, healing, and unconditional love everywhere we can!
It's time to save the world, one beautiful soul at a time.