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Writer's pictureXane Daniel

Fear and Suffering in a Relationship

Updated: Dec 3, 2019

It's all set. I will be giving a Group Soul Essence Activation in Tempe, Arizona on Saturday, December 14th! If you would like to attend,

I'll be teaming up with my new friend Colter Smith, who is a shaman and will be doing a shamanic breathwork workshop immediately following my 90-minute talk and activation.

Colter Smith, Breathwork Shaman

I was directed to contact Colter by my friend Topher Williamson, because Colter has a fantastic audience, is a great guy, and knows of cool venues in the area. All turned out to be quite true! Colter and I will be leading our workshops at the Shrine of Holy Wisdom.

The Shrine of Holy Wisdom in Tempe, AZ

Colter and I had a great phone conversation, but we have yet to meet in person. I plan to attend his breath workshop on Thursday night this week at the shrine. It will be a great chance for me to experience this and also to see the venue. I'm excited!


Today was mostly an errand day since the holiday weekend occupied most of my time. It was a super warm one here in Phoenix. We were up over 70 degrees for most of the day and I ran the ceiling fan in the camper van to make sure Whisper stayed cool enough when I went into some stores. (I often bring her with me, but today I was running in and out and decided it wasn't worth it.)


Fear and Suffering in a Relationship


A friend that I met online a few years ago reached out to me tonight. We originally met because she was one of the first people who bought a hardcopy of my comic from my website. Since I was so excited about one of my first purchases, we struck up a conversation.


Isabella (name changed to protect her privacy) lives in a different country with her family and things aren't going well for her. She has been getting intense feelings that she's going to have an aneurysm, and she has been concerned about her husband. They have a bad relationship and she wants to leave him, but he's not making it easy for her. He has been desperately trying to hold on to the marriage, and she's worried about leaving with the kids due to financial strain.


These type of relationship troubles are so common! I know so many women who are going through this exact same thing. More on this in a minute.


I was able to ask my guides if there was anything to worry about with the aneurysm concern, and I got a hard no that it's nothing serious. When we have a lot of fear, our brain really plays tricks on us. Irrational thoughts feel completely legit. And interestingly, the things we fear the most are usually the least likely to actually occur. I talk about this in detail in my talk entitled, The Final Lesson.


With that concern out of the way, Isabella shifted to her deteriorated marriage. I told her that he is suffering from childhood traumas which has led to feelings of inadequacy.


I want to pause here for a moment and express that I normally do not do any psychic readings for people. Mostly because I haven't honed that skill whatsoever. However, in this case, the information was flowing, so I allowed it.


I told her that he is holding on to the marriage because the only time he isn't suffering is when he feels like he belongs with her. Isabella gives him a semblance of normalcy. Without her, he's just a frightened little boy who's trying to hang on.

That's when she told me that's exactly what he has said in marriage counseling.

We continued to discuss it, and I expressed to her that marriage deterioration like this is happening all the time -- especially in spiritual circles. When one spouse (usually the woman) has begun her awakening process, her world changes completely. Her values change. Her co-dependency issues melt away, which is always a threat to their partners. And often, partners give in to fear. And unfortunately when people are afraid, they say and do things that make little to no sense. When they turn to fear-fueled alpha behavior, it can be scary and confusing for the spouse.


Instead of becoming vulnerable and asking for help, their partners do the opposite; putting on an air of being strong, confident, and powerful - in a bad way. They become angry, impatient, manipulative and demanding, driving their unhappy spouse away even faster.


These are generalizations, but the pattern just keeps repeating. I see it over and over again. All I can do is boost the confidence of the spouse who has come to me. I can give her activations that help her love herself and help her realize that she deserves greatness. This helps her mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but it doesn't directly help the spouse who is suffering just as much -- if not worse. But usually those are the folks who don't believe that they can be helped by someone like me. So we must leave them to suffer in their special way, for they are on their own path. Even though It's what they signed up for, it doesn't make it any easier for me. I want to help everyone.


This is when Isabella said, "You are being called forward to address this issue. It's coming to you; it'll be gifted to you. That's what I'm getting."


Did I mention that Isabella is a psychic? She doesn't do it for a living, but she gets guidance for others -- much easier than for herself, she explained.


In the end, Isabella was feeling much better. Even though I didn't give her any activations, her deeper understanding of her husband and the relief from knowing that her health fears weren't justified made a big difference.


And I got something, too. A new gift is likely coming my way, and I welcome it! I'm going to go ahead and meditate on it tonight. Thanks, Isabella!


And thanks for reading, friends. If you like my content, please sign up for my mailing list so you can learn more about upcoming appearances and downloadable activations for your own private use. See you next time!

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